• 6 November, 2018

Hormonal rollercoaster

Hormonal rollercoaster

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Pregnancy Week 20 will go to this pregnancy history of disaster weeks! its been a hormonal rollercoaster. Since Robert was in Africa I was alone during the week and thats usually fine. For a few days. Then its like something switches and I absolutely hate being alone. I get scared for all the little things (and big ), “what if I die in my sleep and no one will find Filippa until days later?” I know this sounds super crazy but once the thought get stuck in you head, its kinda hard to get it out. especially since you are alone so IF it happens, well you are screwed. Thankfully my best friend decided to call me every single morning just to check that I was alive and kicking which made the nights a lot easier.

When Thursday came everything took a turn and I just panicked over the fact of being alone for 4 more days so I decided to go to my parents over the weekend. I don’t understand why I get so scared of being alone for to long. Im usually a person who loves to be alone but I guess its different when you don’t choose to be alone, or when its for more than just 2-3 days. Ive told Robert he is not allowed to travel anymore during this pregnancy. When I think about it I don’t think he will ever be allowed to leave the house after this baby is born. If I hate being alone with one child. Just imagine the scares when I have 2 lives to look after! Jikes! Or maybe I should just get my shit together and stop being so afraid of being along. It didn’t help that someone rang the doorbell at 11pm one night. While I was in bed, after watching way to many episodes of “the Haunting at Hill House”…..No I didn’t check who it was…nope! Didn’t even move haha.

I’ll give you guys an update on the growing belly later, now Im off to meet up Madde and go to an excited meeting!