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The change

The change 974 1001 Cotton Stories

As I mentioned before Cotton has been going trough some changes during the last few months. It has all been very exciting but also exhausting. A few months back I took a harsh decision after many weeks of going trough solutions that just didn’t ad up. Sometimes things just doesn’t work out in the long run, and you have to choose between letting go or move on. I decided to move on. Im pretty sure a lot of you have realized that me and Josephine are no longer working together. We decided to go our separate ways a few months back after working together for nearly 2 years, but when something isn’t working out the way you thought it would, it is very important to do something about it. Even if it means ending something.

I’ve learned a lot about myself during the last few years, but running a business really makes you get to know your self on a whole new level. You are responsible for every little thing regarding you company. I’ve always seen myself as kind of a shy not so tuff person, but I’ve realized that I do have some balls when it comes to it. If I want something, I tend to get it. It may take a while but when I look back I realize that I do get shit done. And if something isn’t working, I do something about it.

But let me tell you that it does not come for free. You have to sacrifice a few things on the way and I’ve probably been crying my eyes out for 10 years to come, but it has left me with one huge insight, I need to stop take everything so personal. As Robert once told me, “You will get screwed over so many times, and people will always want to tare you down, you just have to learn not to break down every time shit hits the fan”. He litterly told me this after I’ve been crying over a situation a little longer than he thought was necessary. But that made me realize he was right. So I gently told him to let me cry this one out and then I would stop. And I did, and to be honest I felt at ease after. Like something really just dropped of my shoulders. May sound weird but since that day, I think I actually mentally changed my way of thinking.

I am an artist, and I tend to put my heart down in everything a create. Thats probably why I react so strong to bumps in the road and especially since I am walking on very unknown grounds. I am and artist and I know my way with the brushes, but I have no clue about marketing/sales or how to build a brand, So my main mission was to find someone to invest in Cotton Stories with there expertise. That could do the things I cant. Thats when I found Madeleine. She’s married to one of my boyfriends clients and I asked her during a dinner if she would be interesting in taking a look at Cotton Stories just to point me in the right direction and let me in on some tricks. We had a lunch a few weeks later and after that she was in. Sometimes it just feels right and she now takes care of everything that goes on behind the scenes, all the details you see, from website to advertising is the mastermind of her skills. She is kind of my other brain, my coordinator and digital guru.

She also makes me do things I normally wouldn’t do. Or maybe I would but it would take me a while to build up the currage to do it. Now she contacts people and set up meetings for us to go to. She’s a doer for sure. And everybody needs one of those in their life. Especially if you want to build something from the ground. And thats what we’re doing right now. We are creating Cotton Stories 3.0 and our plan is to have everything set before the baby gets here ( only 66 days left ) and you know what. We are redesigning everything. the shop, webpage, our graphical profile and all the details behind every aspect of Cotton Stories. Last week we came along way and we actually made some huge progress which we celebrated in the best way. A very long and well earned luxury breakfast!


30 weeks pregnant!

30 weeks pregnant! 1024 683 Cotton Stories

I’ts been a while since I did a pregnancy update. Time flies and december was the most hectic month of the year. After the holiday rush I felt it was time to take a few days of and just relax. So needed. I’ve been so extremely tired lately, scary tired, the kind of tired that makes it hard to manage to stay awake for a whole day so the last days before Christmas I actually had to take 2 power naps a day to manage everything. This pregnancy has absolutely been nothing like the first one. Maybe its because I have a 3 year old keeping me busy, or maybe its just that no pregnancy is the same. I talked to my midwife about the tiredness and it turned out I had iron deficiency so that explained why I was feeling so extremely weak. It felt good to find a reason why something didn’t feel right, that way you easily can fix it. At least thats what I thought. Turned out I don’t respond very well to the medicine you should eat to get you levels up, so now I am back to vomiting and feeling sick every night. LOVE this. Hopefully my levels will be better in 1 week or 2 and I can get back to feeling normal. Keeping my fingers crossed! My face is currently doing the “vampire look” according to my midwife.

Since its only 10 weeks left until my due date I realized I should start thinking about all the things that needs to be done. There is a lot of things happening now. Cotton is expanding and we are going to take it to the next level in just a few weeks. There is a lot of details yet to be set and we have a ton of work a head of us but it is so exciting.

In the middle of all we finally found a new apartment for us to move in to, me and my family have been living in a small 1 bedroom apartment for over 3 years, and with the baby coming we really need a bigger place. Nothing is settled yet, we are still waiting for the papers to be signed but if all goes well we’ll be moving right in time for the baby to arrive. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the move will be done before the birth, but at the moment it looks like I will be giving birth in the middle of it. yeeeej. But hey, why do things the easy way when you can spice things up bit by making it extra challenging. #Make it work!

Cotton baby at 30 weeks

This baby belly is getting huge, and heavy! He moves around a lot and keeps me up at night for sure. I walk like an old lady and sometimes it feels like he is about to crawl out. I have a strong feeling he will arrive before my due date. I realized when saying that out loud that I need to start preparing mentally for the birth. Last time we had a scheduled C-section since giving birth trough my “Hua” was out of the question, but his time I feel very different and my plan is to let my body decide how this little dude is going to enter the world. I’ll be digging in to this subject more in another post since I find it extremly important to talk about giving every woman a safe delivery, no matter how it looks.

It really feels like everything happening this year and it is so exciting but also very scary, what will this year be like? How will I manage a business and a newborn in the middle of a move (may the force be with me). 2018 was full of surprises and challenges that took some unexpected turns and I will do a year summary for you all to read since you’ve been with us on this journey since day 1.


Hello from Santas dungen

Hello from Santas dungen 1024 683 Cotton Stories

So the last few weeks has been crazy. I mean CRAZY. I was a little prepared since last years order rush was extrem but this year I totalt lost track of time. The days flew by and all of a sudden I realized I had just 2 more days to finish ALL orders before Christmas, and I had to fix all the paintings that was going to MamaMia last week. I am not the queen of planning or getting things done, well I do get things done, but I am more the kind of person who gets everything done the very last minute! Thankfully my colleague is much more organized and keeps everything in place so I don’t fuck up completely. She is my brain these days and I really don’t know how I could manage Cotton Stories without her. We are expanding, and we are expanding fast so its nice to have a killer lady by my side since I am more of the “chaotic artist ” kinda gal.

If someone would have told me 4 years ago when I was pregnant with Filippa that I would one day be hanging my art work at MamaMia, which is Scandinavias largest women and child health care center, I probably would have laughed. But now, it’s so weird knowing that my art is seen in not only one waiting room, but 4 and we are going to put up more paintings around Sthlm next year. That is just…wow.

We do have some very exciting meetings waiting for us when we get back from the holidays. I have a feeling next year will be the most exciting year so far, and probably the hardest to since Im having a baby in the middle of all this! I do however hope that 2019 will be less dramatic. This past fall has been the hardest one since I had to make some very harsh decisions regarding Cotton Stories that left a lot of hurt feelings and broken friendships behind. I came to a point where I had to listen to my gut and just to what felt right. It was not easy, and it took a lot of courage to be able to do it. Life is not easy, but everything happens for a reason and sometimes you have to just let go to be able to go further, even if it means doing something you never thought you had to do.


25 weeks pregnant…

25 weeks pregnant… 1024 683 Cotton Stories

…and the pregnancy brain has hit the fan for sure. I’ve seriously been thinking I’ve got 25 weeks left (!?) of this pregnancy so when my mother told me it was only 15 to go, I kind of panicked a bit. 15! thats nothing!? And I haven’t even began to purchase the stuff we need, or think about important stuff like, his name? Ok thats I lie, I do nothing but think of what to name this little guy since I cant find the perfect name just yet. I do have a few favorites that we go back and forth from but it doesn’t have that “thats it” feeling that you want to achieve.

I’ve actually started to like the name Filippa has given him, which is Pelle, but Robert is not as keen on it as I am. And when I say it out load I can hear half of our family going “Thats not a name” but its cute though. And my grandfathers name was Pelle (Per) so I guess that has something to do with it as well. 

In moments like this, I kinda wish babies would come with a name. Who are you? What do you look like? Are you a Noah or Pelle? Lennon or Elliot? Since we found out it was a boy the name Noah has been in the back of my head. I think its neutral, calm and fits all ages. So if I should name him today. It would probably be Noah, and I am pretty sure I will look at him and see if he is a Noah the moment he is on my chest and If he isn’t? well….than Im lost and he will be called “the baby” for the next few weeks. 

She’s gonna be the best sister ever to this little man.

Since Roberts is extremely tired of me asking him for baby names, I got a bit creative and decided to ask the one place where there should be an answer. Instagram 😉 Help us name this little fella before the Swedish state goes in and gives him a name. 


24 weeks pregnant- and the anxiety has arrived

24 weeks pregnant- and the anxiety has arrived 1024 683 Cotton Stories
Lets give a heads up for not so positive and happy update this week. I’ve been thinking about not posting at all since I couldn’t really think of anything great to say about the past week. But then I thought, who am I trying to fool? I am not some super person who only goes trough happy days and never feel low or not on top. I am the exact opposite. I feel high on life just as much as I feel the lowest of low, So I decided to just tell it as it is, cause I am pretty sure I am not the only one experiencing the feelings I am right now.

The past few weeks its been creeping up on me that we soon will have 2 kids. We will within just a few months have another life to take care of and he will probably shake things up a bit. We’ve been a family of 3 for nearly 4 years and the past 2 years we’ve really been enjoying the life we live. Everything goes on quite smoothly and we feel that we have a great balance between work and family life. Roberts works a lot, so that means I take care of most things regarding our home and Filippa, which has been hard from time to time, but overall she’s pretty easy and we like our daily routine.

We felt we’d reached a time in life where it would be nice to give her a sibling and we both wanted one more child so it felt like the right time. Here’s where I feel a bit torned. “Am I fucking up our life bringing another baby into this house?” “Can you love the next child as much as the first one? “what if we change our minds? (never gonna happen) Is now really the best time? WHAT IF I CANT HANDLE TWO KIDS? pleeeease don’t give me any hard comments or mom shaming on this, I feel bad enough about this already. But feel free to share your experience during your pregnancy.

Everyone keeps telling me its so great and “he is soon here, don’t you want to fast speed the time?” And Im more like – NO! please stop the time for a bit. I need to get my head around this whole thing. I need to feel ready!  will I ever feel ready? I am truly looking forward to our little man, but to be honest I am terrified. I can look at our daughter and burst in to tears knowing that the time we’re its only me and her soon will be over. That she will have to share me with her baby brother. How will she manage that? How can I be there for her the way she needs when I have a baby to put first? Some nights I have nightmares of me forgetting either her or the baby somewhere, and wake up soaking wet and cant catch my breath!

I said to Robert the other day that I wish I was one of those mother who just took things smoothly and didn’t think as much as I apparently do. I am so afraid of fucking things up that I have a hard time focusing on just being there. I know everything probably will fall into place when he is born and hopefully all of my fears will just go away the moment he is placed on my chest but for now, I cant stop feeling stressed over the whole thing. And it seems like every other mother around me just goes with the flow and manage to keep sane all the way, and here I am panicking over the fact that we will have another beautiful baby in our family? But as Robert told me. -You may not feel that you got your shit together, but honestly you are capable of so much more that you think. Did I ever mention I love him? He is my rock, and I truly hope he is right.

Wow, that felt good to put my thoughts out of my head for once. Lets end this with a pic of this 24 weeks belly to show how I feel about this little guy when my worries don’t come to the surface.

What was going trough your mind when you were pregnant?


Baby's First SelfieSiblings First Selfie

Baby's First SelfieSiblings First Selfie